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Moving on With Your Life After a Breakup / Divorce From a Narcissist

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Moving on With Your Life After a Breakup / Divorce From a Narcissist

Trudy Jacobsen | Counselling Australia

The road to recovery after a breakup is almost always a difficult one to navigate emotionally. Trying to move on from the abusive hold of a narcissist, however, can feel almost impossible.

Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for a few months or a few years, the emotional damage that is left over from it can be incredibly draining. It may feel hopeless, but it’s not. There is always hope!

Taking time to focus on your own mental well-being is one of the best things you can do to recover from the trauma of the relationship.

Consider some ideas on how to do just that.

Be Kind and Patient with Yourself

Before attempting any emotional recovery, first, it’s important to allow yourself to recognize your emotions and continually validate them. No matter what events took place in your relationship, the way you feel is completely valid!

The lingering emotions from the relationship are yours to feel and no one can discredit or invalidate that.

Even if you were in an abusive relationship, you have the right to miss the person who hurt you. You have the right to hate them or to still love them. You’re allowed to feel the way you do, even if someone else believes you should feel differently.

Remember to be kind to yourself and respect your emotions. And with time, you will be able to see these emotions more clearly.

Take the Phases in Stride—But Always be Wary

There are often emotional phases after breakups, but it’s important to remain mindful of the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place.

Often, a breakup from a narcissist is something that inevitably needs to happen and will only benefit you in the long run. However, it’s easy to fall back into patterns of reaching out to your ex, trying to make amends, missing them, or downplaying inappropriate behaviour.

The desire to reconcile with someone you loved (or still do love) is understandable. Nevertheless, you will likely find that the behaviour which caused the breakup initially will creep its way back into the relationship.

Hence, when the desire to reconcile with your narcissistic ex becomes overwhelming, keep your long-term goals in mind. Also, consider how damaging it could potentially be to allow them back into your life.

Rely on Loved Ones for Support

While breakups are difficult enough to go through, a divorce is a whole other matter and can become quite ugly. It can be especially ruthless when going through it with someone who is only concerned with their own gain.

Thus, the best thing you can do for yourself is to have a strong support system. You may find this support in the form of friends, family, or possibly a lawyer.

Divorces can become extremely bitter, especially when dealing with a narcissist ex. Having people around you who care about your best interest can make the situation a little easier to get through. And in the event of a particularly hostile divorce, having a skilled lawyer will ensure you maintain your physical and financial well-being along with your emotional health.

Seek Guidance From a Therapist

Aside from leaning on family and friends for support, seeking out the professional guidance of a therapist is important. The expertise of a skilled mental health professional can help you far beyond a breakup or divorce from a narcissist. It will provide valuable advice on how you can avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.

Therapy is a place where you can learn to move forward with the right mindset. It helps you to put unhealthy beliefs aside and set yourself up for a new, healthier relationship. One that isn’t tainted by the emotional damage you’ve experienced in the past.

If you ended a relationship with a narcissist and you feel too drained or beaten down to move forward with your life, please don’t lose hope. Contact me on (07) 3282 5453.  I’d love to help you recover and look toward a brighter future.

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